A New Year's Gift to Remember.

...and the award for "Outstanding New Year's Gift Ever Given" goes to "The Federal Government of Nigeria". The Gift of "Removal of Fuel Subsidy" was enough to shake 923,768 Sq Km and its 150million occupant dis is minus goats, poultry, cattle, dogs etc. dat haven't eaten because their owners dey vex. I don't have enough money to enter market lemmi cook for dog? Walaha dey.

I'm not an Economic student, Political scholar or a Bsc holder in Fuel Subsidy. I'm just a citizen of the feder... scratch that, I'm just a common man. I won't spend time analyzing the Pros and Cons of the removal of fuel subsidy. Yes! It has Pros too. I'll just state how it has affected me.

Everybody screaming "fuel subsidy, fuel subsidy", putting funny DPs, avatars, cracking jokes, complaining etc. all I could say was "odeshi! Fuel subsidy has got nothing on me". It hit me when the Recharge card vendor sold #750 MTN airtime for #760. I know the amount added on airtime is usually on #100 and #200 for it to reach #750, wahala dey.

ON THE PHONE.
Me: ho boy as u dey commot try pick me from my house make we move together.

"Friend"(notice d friend is in quote): Guy! If u go put fuel for my car I fit "try" reach urside but you just try block me for the place.

That's how I didn't go out again.


ON THE PHONE.
Me: Sweet heart, my car is broken down how about you meet me @silverbird.

Girl: honey, could you come to my place then we'll take a drop.

Me: Waka! Your papa! Who u wan pay for drop. Kmmmt.

Truth be told, the car was parked at home. The tank was almost empty. Money no reach to buy fuel still eat and watch movie.
Above all I have subsidized my louve. I have failed Chigurl.


AT MY JUNCTION.
Taxi: Bros u dey go.

Me: Yes o. Woji jxn. Abi na #50.

Taxi: Bros u dey dis country at all. E don reach #100 o

Me: Ah! Ah! I dey waka dis tin steady

Taxi: As u dey talk fuel dey waste o. If u no wan enter make I go. Inshort trek dey go kmt. *zooms off*


AT THE BARBERS SHOP.
Friend: Just line my hair the normals

Barber: I've finished

*Friend hands over #50*

Barber: Oga the price don change o. #50 for the lining, #100 na fuel subsidy price.

Friend: Guy abeg find me #100.

Dats how I lost a whole 100box I didn't budget for.


AT HOME a new rule has been set; if u can't buy fuel, TREK. Is my father smiling? Only until you park the car with empty tank will you find out.

before I get carried away, let's give it up for Oga Presido as he comes to receive his award. Oga na u abeg, iSalute.


Please can airports be exempted from this strike, a brother has gotta go to school. I promise to strike over there. After all, diaspora or not I'm a Nigerian.


(S/O to all those who replied my BC on how the fuel subsidy has affected them. Thanx Cheso, Amara and Godstime for your contribution).