Stuck to you.

You know all those kids who on their first day in school were proud to be leaving their parents, all swaged up and bouncing to class? Well, I wasn’t one of them. My mum says I refused to let go of her, crying with running nose. I wasn’t like all those nasty children that allowed their tears and catarrh form a confluence and run into their mouth though. Nop! Not me. Oh yeah, the name of my nursery & primary school was “The Playpen Child Development Centre” aka “Playpen” aka “Best school in Port Harcourt”.

Well, there was this girl, being in kindergarten I can’t say I remember but history and all those “outdated-ashamed-to-show-in-public” pictures show that she was there with me all through the siesta session at 12pm everyday to learning the times-table to the part I Start remembering to receiving cane on our bum bum to the time I forgot my bag with all my books at home & came to school with only snacks in a paper bag to the time I wrote common entrances to the time I moved on.

After my JS1 and that terrible road experience my dad says ** in Will Smith mum’s voice from ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s intro** “your moving out of Benin back to Port Harcourt”. That’s how I found myself in JS2B at “Archdeacon Brown Education Centre” aka “ABEC” and there she was again. By the way she came into ABEC in JS2 I wasn’t playing the stalker or the follow follow.

The circle started again. She followed me through those swagless days to being punished in the dining to looking forward to social night to being embarrassed during assembly to feeling fly when a girl gives you her book to take to your hostel to receiving all those plenty awards (Yup! I was a first carrier) to chyking girls to science class to graduating from shorts to trousers to punishing junior students. Then I became Prep Prefect and there she was Assistant Prep Prefect and then graduation.

This is the part where my mother gets tired of seeing me and decides A-Level it is. That’s how I end up in “Showers international High School”. Don’t try to guess, our anthem was that “Showers of blessing” hymn. Do you know the familiar face I met in class that day? That same girl *scratch that* that same lady. Here goes the circle again...

From that impossible english entrance exam of 1500 words about yourself to those daily bus trips from the hostel to school to those Tuesday night vigils to Cambridge exam (I know there are loads to be 'to-ing' to but imma stop here) and then graduation.

First day in “Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology” aka “KNUST” I’m looking for a photocopier trying to complete my registration process and who do I run into? Yup! That same lady. The look on her face wasn’t pleasant she had this genuine “God forbid-I shall not marry you” kind of look. I don’t know if the God forbid was her thinking aloud or she meant to say it. Well, the circle continued.

From 1st year to roommates (by roommate I mean regular visitor, that person that would knock on your door at 2am; go straight to your fridge before 1 thing 1 thing y’all would conclude {s/o to Eiera}) to hearing all her complaints to final year and now KNUST has postponed our graduation indefinitely.

Anyway shout out to that lady; if you like do 40 days fasting and prayer that we should not meet again, you might just be sleeping on a bicycle, you might just be stuck to me.

Shout out to my “living-MR NIGER D” biography MISS ITA CHINELO ARINMAH.


If you don’t know “MR NIGER D” it just proves Playpen is better than your primary school :p.